Child abuse is not always obvious

            Not all child abuse is obvious.  Child abuse is not always disclosed to the public.  Child abuse does not necessarily include physical violence.  As in the recent case regarding the starvation of a 1 year old boy to death, abuse was by way of maladaptive behaviors on behalf of the caretakers, mistreatment, and extreme neglect.   http://www.wbaltv.com/news/        

            But not all abuse consists of serious crime or overt violent behavior.  Many cases of abuse occur by way of neglect, sexual maltreatment, psychological and physical harm, or combination.  Abuse is ongoing maltreatment to a child by a caretaker. 

            Child abuse, mild through fatal, can be defined as harm, injury, or death to a child’s physiological or psychological well being.  Neglect of a child’s basic needs, causing fear, exploitation, or guilt, could be a form of child abuse.  Abuse can be intentional, though it can also be considered unintentional.  Sexual abuse perpetrators might report that they believe the child enjoys the sexual contact at some point during the abuse.  Mentally ill perpetrators inflicting emotional distress might believe that they are disciplining or teaching a child appropriate behavior.  There have been cases when perpetrators believed they were performing the will of God.  Some perpetrators might report no recall or understanding that abuse was inflicted.  Common forms of child abuse are inflicted by a familiar person, such as, family or caretakers.  Abuse by stranger occurs in abduction, war crimes, sex slavery, or imprisonment. 

            Children can be traumatized as a result of direct abuse, but also by witnessing, being threatened, or experiencing disaster, accidents, or horrific crime.  These types of trauma can have a different than being harmed by a familiar or trusted person with an intention for maltreatment.  Maltreatment by a caretaker is more likely to result with permanently deformed development of attachments, self esteem, socialization, and other aspects of personality.

Types of abuse

            Neglect can result from basic needs not being met.  Children left to fend for themselves regarding food, safety, shelter, and support, could be considered neglected.  Children lacking stable nurturance, supervision, structure, discipline, or stimulation, can be considered neglected.

            Physical abuse could include spanking, smacking, hitting, burning, shaking, torture, starvation, drowning among other forms of corporal punishment or physical harm.    Sexual abuse can entail any number of familiar perpetrators involved in any array of sexual behaviors over any duration of time.  Sexual perpetrators coerce their victims by threatening consequences, ranging from causing harm or death to the victim, victim’s parents, caretakers, or pets.  Guilt can also be powerful leverage for perpetrators to persuade their victims.

            Emotional abuse can be difficult to identify when it occurs independently from others types of abuse.  Emotional abuse could be physical threats, belittlement, or vulgarity.  Emotional abuse usually coincides with other forms of maltreatment.

Psychological aftermath of child abuse

            During brain development neural pathways are created.  Every experience teaches children and contributes to brain development.  Predictable stress assists in learning however prolonged, unpredictable, or severe stress can alter brain development.

A child focusing on getting their basic needs met or survival instead of the normal childhood thoughts and behaviors can inhibit normal development.  Brain development of this type allows children to prepare for a world which is unpredictable and dangerous.  These children remain in a chronic state of alertness, overreact to triggers, and have other anxiety related symptoms and disorders.  Some disorders might include sleep disturbances, panic, separation issues, and hyperactivity.  These children may also be prone to aggressive behavior because of the fight response from real or perceived threats.   These children can also be easily misdiagnosed as a result of their brains being conditioned to monitor non verbal cues of perpetrators and are less skilled at interpreting verbal cues of non threatening communication.  Children who have locked their focus on how to endure abuse could have severe difficulty with organization of their psychological framework.

            The task of an abused child is to formulate a desired wholesome personality and healthy attachments in the midst of cruelty, unexplainable behaviors, confusing circumstances, and an unhealthy environment.

            Abused children are in constant combat between acceptance of feeling they are bad and having the determination and underlying hope that they are good.  They do not want to believe the perpetrators are bad so they must assume, the abuse is because they are bad.

            Whether or not a child’s needs are met can affect personality, intelligence, cognition, emotions, and ultimately how a child behaves.  Abused children often demonstrate an inability to manage their emotions and can have aggressive or explosive reactions to others.  Some children may respond by being withdrawn or not responsive to affection.  Social settings might present challenges because abused children may not interact appropriately due to emotionally immaturity.  Other issues could include learning disabilities, eating and sleeping disturbances.

Long term effects

            Abused children can have repercussions into adolescents and adulthood.  In adolescence, abused children can be promiscuous, develop eating disorders, have difficulty with intimacy, or sexuality.   Adolescence, just like childhood, is a time for continued development in the brain.  If teenagers were abused or continue to be abused this abuse distracts the psychological normal development.  Reason, logic, and abstract thinking are examples of cognition that are interrupted when abuse occurs.  Brain development and the skills that help adolescents think and make good decisions can be prolonged, delayed even further than normal, or prevented by abuse. 

            In adulthood, abuse victims continue to demonstrate maladaptive behaviors.  Basic trust, initiative, and autonomy are problematic for adult survivors.  These interpersonal conflicts among others keep adult survivors at risk for repeated victimization.  Self fulfilling prophecy seems sustained and they cannot imagine themselves other than being a victim.  Other long term effects include suicidality, depression, inability for conflict resolution, anxiety, fear of abandonment, exploitation, domination, or betrayal.  Gender differences indicate men to be more aggressive toward others while women tend to injure themselves.  Adult survivors of child abuse may struggle or may never be able to establish normal cognitive, social, emotional, and behavioral skills even with intensive interventions.

Prevention and education

            There are too many reported cases of child abuse. The number of reported child abuse is staggering.  If the number of unreported cases were included, it could be epidemic.  Awareness, health and parent education, and early intervention could help prevent child abuse and the aftermath.  Child abuse victimizes more than children. Report child abuse. http://www.dhr.state.md.us/cps/address.php  

Parents, learn about positive effective parenting

Guilt and other negative emotions!

Yes parenting is the toughest job on the planet! I say it all the time to parents. And yes there are so many negative emotions that can overwhelm parents (as we all know too well) and this is normal...however, the important things to remember are that we must develop healthy skills in order to return as quickly as possible to a healthy frame of mind in order to be the best parent we can be. Yes these negative emotions, such as guilt are helpful in order to recognize a need to make a change. We must identify the cause for the guilt (or other negative emotion) and learn. Also every interaction does teach our children something. So it is important to demonstrate good coping skills, communication skills, and conflict resolution skills. As each of the comments indicated there was some time of issue/conflict..oops ( all part of life and especially parenting)..what to do next and how to teach our children in each challenging moment is what is most important! Great job to all of you.

When children ask why?

Children ask why for lots of reasons but mostly because they want to know something.  They want to learn.
Yes some children ask why when they are trying to avoid doing something or delay doing something etc...this is all part of them learning how to manipulate situations.  Manipulation is not always bad ..it is a child trying to learn how to get their needs or desires met and requires thinking.  So good at least their thinking.  Problem is regardless of their intentions they still must learn to be responsible and we the parents are still smarter ...or at least I hope so. ha

So parents just give them an answer or ask them what they think.  Especially while they are teenagers since they know everything while they are teens.  Ask them to explain the question at hand to you.  If they ask why they have to mow the lawn, you can respond with " Well lets think, if you can mow the lawn then what privilege should you get for being such a responsible member of the family? or if you can't or don't want to mow the lawn then I will have to do it and then unfortunately I will not have time to take you to the mall on saturday." mmmm.  If you question their questions, they will get tired of that approach too and stop asking so much. Or if you make too much sense and basically outsmart them, then they will find it easier just to do what they need to do.  Yes parenting requires patience,  creativity, planning, and lots of other skills but the rewards of your efforts will be wonderful.  Parenting will be easier and your children will learn so much from you.

Make sense.  Offer choices.  Be creative. Be humorous.  Just stay away from the negativity it is detrimental always!

Is it their nature?

What does this mean exactly to people?  As I sat with a friend the other day , he said to me" it is just her nature"  I replied "well actually it is more a learned behavior."  He arguable stated no she is just like that.   and on and on.  He is a smart guy, a typical responsible citizen, yet he along with so many people still walk around thinking that everyone just is as they are.  That there is nothing or very little anyone can do about the way the think, feel, or behave.

It is so frustrating for me and so many in my field to experience this sort of mindset from so many so often.  And parents can benefit as well from this concept.  Yes children are born with a certain temperament, but what they learn from the way parents interact and react to them will teach them how to manage their temperament in beneficial ways.

Can people and parents especially please learn about their own psychological well being and understand that there are so many things to learn and so much people can do to be healthier.

People can choose how to think which does directly impact their feelings and behavior.  People learn to be happy, optimistic, and healthy.  

Naturally there are illness, disease and disorders of brain function and that can be assessed and treated also, but long before medications or clinical intervention is required there are tons of skills and learned behaviors that can be improved upon to promote health ...positive moods, interpersonal skills, safety, emotional management, etc etc...

People are not just as they are... they are a sum of genetics and learned behaviors! Our hard wiring sets the limits so to speak but all interactions can teach us something...we can choose to learn from our experiences.

Please seek this information and understand human behavior..you are a human for heaven's sake and interact with other humans constantly..kind of important ..YES?

Parents need to learn how to teach and teach their children the same.

Ronald McDonald?

Really??? Are you kidding me? Is this how confused and backward our society really is ...that they are really trying to get Ronald McDonald retired? And because people think HE is the cause of obesity???

REALLY? and isn't he a fictional person..no I mean a fictional clown?

Come on people...learning good eating habits does not start with the guy who represents a fast food chain or from any fast food places???

Eating habits and choices are up to each individual and many many people read, learn, and choose healthy foods...many parents teach their children and expose their children to healthy foods so they also develop healthy eating habits...

Please what's next...the Easter bunny should retire too because he makes kids eat chocolate...

or how about Santa because he makes children not live in the true spirit of Christmas and also makes children have a sense of entitlement if he brings too many toys???

Don't blame Ronald if you are not smart enough to educate yourself about what you want to put into your bodies or to teach your children, or to make better healthier choices...intelligent people even children do not put food in their mouth because of a clown...they do so because it tastes good and they enjoy it and it is easy..hence the term fast food. so enjoy on a rare occasion as an unhealthy treat like so many others...and promote Ronald in all his efforts to support and educate about health and caring for those in need - "Ronald McDonald House?"

"Ronald McDonald retiring will not be the answer to obesity!"

Should I push my child into sports?

It is important for you as a parent to remember that exposing children to new ideas, activities is about the child learning and exploring his or her own skills and interests and not the needs or wishes of the parent or what the parent wants for the child.
Encouragement try new things and understand commitment and responsibility when they join a group is important but it is also very important to talk with your child and truly understand your child's thoughts and feelings.  There is not one good answer regarding how to respond or  react to child not wanting to do something.  There are many factors to be considered and every child is unique.  Their thoughts and experiences are unique also.  (physical issues, emotional issues, social issues, maturity levels, unpleasant experiences, etc...) better yet is the process for resolving the issue at hand...this is what will determine your child's future receptiveness and responsiveness to new experiences and this is the real teaching opportunity.

Addressing fondling and masturbation???

Often parents become concerned about children fondling their genitals or humping in what appears to be in a sexual way.  It is perfectly normal for children to enjoy or get pleasure from touching their genitalia.http://www.yourdictionary.com/medical/genitalia. There are several possibilities why children pursue this behavior or continue past what could be normal exploration. Both girls and boys will masturbate even as toddlers.
It is important to ignore what you can so that you do not create a negative stigma to normal and healthy development but at the same time open positive communication about what is appropriate in public or even in front of others in their own home can be explained.  It is a good idea to explain to children that their genitals are not like their ears and are special.  Parents can age appropriately explain their purpose.
For young children the following is a good explanation of sexual curiosity and exploration.

As children approach puberty, the same applies..healthy, positive communication and age appropriate information is best! Please be sure not to make a negative issue out of normal development.  Read up about normal behavior and development during puberty because it probably has been a while since you were experiencing puberty...and make childhood and adolescence as pleasant as possible...it is hard enough for everyone.

As always if you have more/specific questions or need more information please shoot me an email.

Happy parenting!

School Performance

Question:

I have a 13 year old boy who refuses to do good in school even though he is more than capable mind wise. This has been an on going problem since he started middle school any suggestions will help for I am at my wits end with him.
Thank You

Response:

Thank you for your question.  This is a common stressor for families. Unfortunately, every child has a different attitude or the way they think about education and school performance. Each child also has different capabilities and ways that they learn best.  This is why there is a wide range in performance among all students.  So many children are not great students. Some are mediocre and some excel just fine or are above average.

Naturally some of the attitude and efforts put forth by children are a result of their parents educational performance/ achievements and attitude ( learned behavior)  as well as genetics.

Whenever our children are not healthy in any way physical or psychological ( thinking , feelings, or behaving in their best interest ) it is always important to assess for medical reasons.  If your child is physically healthy then it is important to assess psychological reasons.  (thought processing through behavior...could help to talk with a professional) 


I would always recommend talking with your child about what is going on...not a lecture or making demands but a healthy, pleasant, positive, and genuinely concerned conversation.  Ask him to help you understand what he likes or doesn't like about school.  Why he thinks he either cannot or doesn't do as well as believed potentials would allow. There are many possibilities for why children do not work to their potential. ( I have developed an ABCs for academic success assessment which has proven to be helpful if interested)

Many students never learn how to study in ways that works for them.  This is one of the most common issues I have dealt with in students.   

Other reasons include poor organizational skills, dislike for teachers or subject matter, time management, poor self esteem, anxiety, personal or interpersonal problems, or classes too easy or hard (bored or discouraged). 

Regardless of the what is the cause for poor performance children must learn and understand the importance and correlation between education accomplishments and future success and happiness. Often times, good conversations can be very helpful as well as assistance with important skills mentioned earlier like organization.

Children should be motivated to perform well in school so that they will be educated and have future opportunities.  This is not always clear to children. Parents must help them and sometimes offer outside motivation, support, and guidance.

School is to children like work is to adults and unfortunately unless they really love their job sometimes it is really a grueling task to go and do well.  Hopefully parents can find the tools and develop the skills to help children get through K-12 at least ( usually college is easier for them ...different issues) and be motivated.

Please let me know if you have other specific questions or comments hopefully this has been some help.

Good Luck.

Parents and grief

Grief...sorrow ....unbearable sadness...that hole left in your heart that can never ever be filled again...cannot begin to describe the feeling parents have who outlive their child.

You will hear many say there is nothing worse than losing a child. I agree. There are many factors that can worsen or lighten this horrific emotional pain such as how much suffering the child might have endured before his or her death or how much physical interaction the child and parent had prior to death, but the death of a child still leaves a grief that lasts forever.

Time does help to process, adapt, and figure out what can help live with the loss of your child, but never never does it heal or get easy.  Parents can simply learn how to live with their most intense psychological pain.  Some do not ever learn and that is so sad.

Recently a wonderful woman died, age 55, too young to leave this earth.  She was a good woman. Her father found her.  She had one younger brother, and a mother among many other family members that survived her.  Though she lived independently, her mother was a primary person involved in much of her health care throughout her life due to several health issues stemming from childhood.  Both her parents did all they could to keep her safe, teach her, and make sure she knew she was very loved.  Both her parents are ridden with immeasurable sorrow.  All the family is sad of course, but parents suffer heartache compared to no other.

Everyone recognizes death as a part of life, yet so many do not know much about grieving.  Grieving is unique to each individual.  Just as individuals could benefit from learning more about all aspects of psychological wellness.  Grieving parents could benefit from knowing how to allow themselves to grieve in the healthiest way possible so not to allow their sorrow to cause medical or mental health issues. And grief can cause serious health issues if not managed well.  There can be many stages and aspects of grief such as immense sadness, depression, denial, fear, anger, shame, and guilt among others.

Parents can learn what works for them.  What helps them get into a good place. And that it is OK to get into a good place.  But if parents need some time to be nonfunctional for a while that is OK too.  It is important to learn that eventually both cognitive and behavioral changes will help to allow them to live the rest of their life as happily and healthy as possible with this permanent hole in their heart.  But there is no specific time for any one person.  The idea is to prevent further harm.  Whatever you need to do in the grieving process is fine but if grieving becomes part of a new problem or is no longer helpful each day then it is time to either find new methods for your grieving process or seek professional help. 

I do not use the word 'healing'.  The hole does not heal.  We just learn to live again.  If you are a parent who has lost a child then you understand.

Cognition will become healthier when parents practice choosing to remember the positive aspects of the child's life.  From death we can learn so much.  Why is it that in the midst of a new loss it is so easy to keep priorities in order?  We somehow know what is important.  We can learn optimal appreciation for others, experiences, each moment and every second in life.  We can learn to be happier, smarter, and stronger from our loss because we choose to learn from it and have survived it. 

Behavioral changes will help because you can choose to take care of yourself. You can demonstrate to all that you can cope. This will teach others that healthy survival is possible and they too can learn should they need to have these skills also one day.  This is a great gift to others and will promote contagion.  Who, of all the deceased, wouldn't be happy to know that in their death others learned, grew, and became happier, healthier human beings?

Memorialize the precious life that is now gone by helping yourself and others.  You can choose other ways to memorialize your child and keep their spirit alive forever also. Ideas and ways to do this are immeasurable. And finding a way that works for you is up to you.   Once a parent has specific times each year as a time set aside to remember, show respect and love for their child, then it is certain that their relationship will continue forever. 

And if you have other children, you must know that a parents grief is felt by the other children.  Not only do siblings have to cope with their own sorrow and pain, but to watch a parent grieve is also a great heartache.  Parents, it is our responsibility to take care of ourselves, and continue to protect, teach, and love all our children always.


Please do not judge yourself or parents who have lost a child.  Be kind and supportive.  The support can help diffuse some of the sadness and the need for support never stops.  Regardless of the overt behavior or what  parents says, they benefit from support and genuine comfort... always.  Friends that still call years after the loss on his or her birthday or death day, have no idea of how much this helps to ease the sadness.  How much someones expression of thoughts and compassion allows the emotional pain to be shared and then not be quite so heavy in the heart.

My positive energy goes out to you and to all those who have experienced the greatest loss of all ..the loss of our baby girls or boys...take care of yourself mom and dad because that is definitely what your deceased child would want you to do and that is definitely what will make your other children less sad!

As always, if issues arise, further discussion is needed, or you have questions, comments, etc. after reading this article please know I welcome all to write, ask, or in contact me anyway and anytime.

obesity..another preventable isue

Parents shop for the food, prepare the food, and manage scheduling among family memebers.  If parents are informed, creative, organized and committed to good health, good eating habits, nutrition, and health can be easy.
Yes factors like intelligence, learned behaviors, and motivation, among other factors play a role but parents really can teach children to eat healthier foods and develop healthy eating lifestyles.

Things that are important:

Role modeling
Smart purchasing - Limited, planned, thoughtful and not when hungry ha!
Education about nutrition and marketing
Reading labels
Eating for the right reasons
Portions being servings not PORTIONS....
Exercise and lots of it!  ( active hobbies and quality time)
Conscious choices for what you are puttin gin your body!
Just eating as natural foods as possible as often as possible and less.
Eating things you can pronounce!
Eating less..one doctor put it best you can lose weight if you stop putting things in your mouth!
Simple huh?

Parents need to teach children that we eat to live not live to eat. And food does bring pleasure but like all other pleasures it will only be pleasurable if taken or done in moderation!

If anyone has serious impulse, compulsive, or other eating issues please seek professional help.




http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35638328/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/

Children smoking

There are several issues that result from this issue of children smoking.  Parents that smoke are WAY more likely to have children that smoke....and these parents are much more likely to justify their children smoking  as a result of guilt or understanding the addiction. ugh.

So first of all if you smoke and are a parent you might want to find a good support person to help you quit.  ( I can help with that...saveasmoker.blogspot.com)

Remember role modeling is the greatest teacher, but parents can also provide children with tons of information available about the affects of smoking.  Lastly parents can NOT allow their children to smoke in their home, car, personal space etc.  which basically says to their children I cannot be part of this self destructive nature!
Parents definitely need to NOT pay for the cigarettes.

Parents need to make smoking inconvenient or impossible for their children.  They need to teach their children regardless of whether or not they smoke that they will not approve of smoking!

Communication between schools and police

There has recently been articles in the news regarding communication among police officials and school administrators.

Communication can always be a good thing. However, the problem is not whether or not this communication should occur because knowledge is power or at least promotes understanding.

The issue here really is what is to be done about information that is disclosed.

If information about behavior of students is used by both parties to help youth then fine. But sometimes information can be misused, misunderstood, misinterpreted, or promote labeling, suspension, alienation, or consequences which are NOT helpful.

If parents, schools, and authorities really want to be sure to teach youth how to stay safe, make good decisions, feel included, have positive self esteems, and be motivated about education etc among other positive aspects of life then they need to develop a plan about how to communicate effectively and what the process would be once juvenile delinquent (or alleged delinquent) behavior is disclosed.

If authorities and administrators need help with this plan, they should include individuals who are experts with proven track records of behavior modification, attitude adjustment, and positive effective strategies for helping youth be more responsible and productive.

Code orange!???

So there is this Motrin commercial where the child is ill and is throwing things and having a meltdown in the middle of the night. The commercial states something about when there is a code orange.? I guess he means when your child is angry about being sick.

They also show a child being miserable while eating and spraying whipped cream all over the place because they have no appetite and are not feeling well.

I understand the point they are trying to make about children not feeling well and Motrin saving the day, but I surely parents are not falling for the justification that children can be disrespectful when they are ill.

The idea of positive parenting is about consistency. Yes more patience are required when someone ( anyone ) is ohysically ill. Of course it is more challenging to be in good spirits when you are ill. However, if anything can be helpful or advantageous, certainly keeping a positive spirit and being optimistic about geting better is imperative to recovery!

Besides that, this commercial sends the message that this is normal behavior for children who are ill. NOT. This behavior is normal for children who have behavioral problems and this behavior is magnified when they are ill.

Either way it is important to maintain positive discipline (or in other words teaching) whether a child is ill or not. It is not OK for a child to be disrespectful ever!

So if your child is ill and becomes disrespectful, just let them know who makes the chicken soup and who has the meds! kidding but you get the point!

Happy nursing and parenting!

Parents can benefit by forgiving their children

We all make mistakes or bad choices from time to time. Children are inexperienced and always learning how the world works..they also make more mistakes and more poor choices...well usually! ha.

They are trying to figure out the cause and effect principle...If I do one thing what will it cause or what will happen? They are often not very good at it. Like they really think they will not get caught or parents won't figure out things...
sometimes they are right which teaches them to continue to do things that way... and creates more confusion.

Anyway, when they screw up it is a good idea to address the problem and resolve in an effective productive manner(discussed in other blogs) and then forgive them.

The ability to forgive is a virtue and a healthy mindset as well as forgiving is a healthy behavior. The interesting aspect is that forgiveness is much more healing for the forgiver than it is for the perpetrator/offender.

A little forgiveness eases the stress and reduces the energy required for remaining angry. Staying angry inhibits the ability to think positively. There are many cognitive distortions that people are accustomed and conditioned to utilize in order to maintain unhealthy ways of thinking. Staying angry requires lots of these distortions all at once.

Imagine of individuals channeled all that same energy and effort into being positive, kind, happy, healthy, and productive.??

Children in this snow!

As most parents agree safety is always first and if it isn't it should be! Next is learning. It is a parents job to teach children how to think and make safe decisions for themselves in every situation.

When working with so many parents, one of the first strategies I help parents master is the art of giving children information. Giving information promotes thinking.

Most parents give commands or make demands, instead of providing information. Giving commands and making demands teaches children to depend on parents for instruction or orders. Giving commands can teach children to be mentally stagnant.

Also demands and commands can be unpleasant, annoying, can negatively affect relationships, and alienate children because children do not like being told what to do just as adults do not like being told what to do.

In the extreme snow conditions, I have heard parents say things like:

"get out of the street" (command)
instead of "a car is coming" or "it is safer to walk close to the sidewalk."(info)

"we're going home" (command)
instead of "I'm cold" or "I'd like to go home"

Parents could also offer choices and be flexible with children. There are many positive approaches that parents can use to generate thought, respect, and cooperation. Parents can benefit from mastering these communication skills. If parents invest as much time learning and perfecting these skills as they do worrying, complaining, and yelling, parents would find the time to be well spent!

Children would feel more respected and would be left to think and make a decisions, not only now but for many situations in the future. Parents would be surprised to find how pleasant, smart, and cooperative children can be when the responsibility is given to them.

Happy parenting!

physiology of parenting

Parents need to understand the physiological psychology of parenting.

Sounds like a mouthful of big words , however, physiological psychology is an integral aspect of parenting.

Not only are parents simply human beings having and caring for children. They are people raising people. They make the greatest impact on their children of all other influences in their lives. Parents provide children with all basic needs as well as teach children to think, know, and feel, what they do about themselves and the world around them. Parents are core in the development of their childrens' self esteem, personalities, and how their children interact with others in the world.

So how does all this happen? It happens as a result of a parents brain function. HMMMM.
Well basically all that we know and do begins in the brain. Our brains and nervous systems as a whole have everything to do with our behavior.

Our behavior as parents, how we think, feel, and behave will teach our children. How we as parents speak to and interact with our children will teach them. Everything a parents does will teach their children something.

SO there are many details about how our brain supports and allows our behaviors. And how our brain is the center of our physiology as well as our psychology.

So it is very important to better understand how this all works even at a very basic level in order to understand how to be a better parent!

got good communication skills parents?

Most people do not give much thought to communication...much less their communication skills.

Many consider speaking and hearing the only aspects of communication.

Many problems that parents experience with their children in life are related to poor communication skills, specifically inability to accurately express oneself and inability to interpret what is being said or observed as it is intended.

Communication involves much much more than simply talking and hearing words.

Just for starters and a little food for thought...other aspects of this complex topic, communication, include verbal and non verbal methods of communicating, listening, comprehension, thought processing, interpretation, schemas, attribution theory, brain function, intonations, pace, volume, body language, dialect, idiolect, habitual behavior, intellect, learning, retention, gender, experience, personality, knowledge, not to mention perception, physiology, social, molecular and other biological differences related to speech, hearing and other communication brain functions.

talk much? what are you saying? what are you hearing? what are you communicating?