Guilt and other negative emotions!

Yes parenting is the toughest job on the planet! I say it all the time to parents. And yes there are so many negative emotions that can overwhelm parents (as we all know too well) and this is normal...however, the important things to remember are that we must develop healthy skills in order to return as quickly as possible to a healthy frame of mind in order to be the best parent we can be. Yes these negative emotions, such as guilt are helpful in order to recognize a need to make a change. We must identify the cause for the guilt (or other negative emotion) and learn. Also every interaction does teach our children something. So it is important to demonstrate good coping skills, communication skills, and conflict resolution skills. As each of the comments indicated there was some time of issue/conflict..oops ( all part of life and especially parenting)..what to do next and how to teach our children in each challenging moment is what is most important! Great job to all of you.

When children ask why?

Children ask why for lots of reasons but mostly because they want to know something.  They want to learn.
Yes some children ask why when they are trying to avoid doing something or delay doing something etc...this is all part of them learning how to manipulate situations.  Manipulation is not always bad ..it is a child trying to learn how to get their needs or desires met and requires thinking.  So good at least their thinking.  Problem is regardless of their intentions they still must learn to be responsible and we the parents are still smarter ...or at least I hope so. ha

So parents just give them an answer or ask them what they think.  Especially while they are teenagers since they know everything while they are teens.  Ask them to explain the question at hand to you.  If they ask why they have to mow the lawn, you can respond with " Well lets think, if you can mow the lawn then what privilege should you get for being such a responsible member of the family? or if you can't or don't want to mow the lawn then I will have to do it and then unfortunately I will not have time to take you to the mall on saturday." mmmm.  If you question their questions, they will get tired of that approach too and stop asking so much. Or if you make too much sense and basically outsmart them, then they will find it easier just to do what they need to do.  Yes parenting requires patience,  creativity, planning, and lots of other skills but the rewards of your efforts will be wonderful.  Parenting will be easier and your children will learn so much from you.

Make sense.  Offer choices.  Be creative. Be humorous.  Just stay away from the negativity it is detrimental always!

Is it their nature?

What does this mean exactly to people?  As I sat with a friend the other day , he said to me" it is just her nature"  I replied "well actually it is more a learned behavior."  He arguable stated no she is just like that.   and on and on.  He is a smart guy, a typical responsible citizen, yet he along with so many people still walk around thinking that everyone just is as they are.  That there is nothing or very little anyone can do about the way the think, feel, or behave.

It is so frustrating for me and so many in my field to experience this sort of mindset from so many so often.  And parents can benefit as well from this concept.  Yes children are born with a certain temperament, but what they learn from the way parents interact and react to them will teach them how to manage their temperament in beneficial ways.

Can people and parents especially please learn about their own psychological well being and understand that there are so many things to learn and so much people can do to be healthier.

People can choose how to think which does directly impact their feelings and behavior.  People learn to be happy, optimistic, and healthy.  

Naturally there are illness, disease and disorders of brain function and that can be assessed and treated also, but long before medications or clinical intervention is required there are tons of skills and learned behaviors that can be improved upon to promote health ...positive moods, interpersonal skills, safety, emotional management, etc etc...

People are not just as they are... they are a sum of genetics and learned behaviors! Our hard wiring sets the limits so to speak but all interactions can teach us something...we can choose to learn from our experiences.

Please seek this information and understand human behavior..you are a human for heaven's sake and interact with other humans constantly..kind of important ..YES?

Parents need to learn how to teach and teach their children the same.

Ronald McDonald?

Really??? Are you kidding me? Is this how confused and backward our society really is ...that they are really trying to get Ronald McDonald retired? And because people think HE is the cause of obesity???

REALLY? and isn't he a fictional person..no I mean a fictional clown?

Come on people...learning good eating habits does not start with the guy who represents a fast food chain or from any fast food places???

Eating habits and choices are up to each individual and many many people read, learn, and choose healthy foods...many parents teach their children and expose their children to healthy foods so they also develop healthy eating habits...

Please what's next...the Easter bunny should retire too because he makes kids eat chocolate...

or how about Santa because he makes children not live in the true spirit of Christmas and also makes children have a sense of entitlement if he brings too many toys???

Don't blame Ronald if you are not smart enough to educate yourself about what you want to put into your bodies or to teach your children, or to make better healthier choices...intelligent people even children do not put food in their mouth because of a clown...they do so because it tastes good and they enjoy it and it is easy..hence the term fast food. so enjoy on a rare occasion as an unhealthy treat like so many others...and promote Ronald in all his efforts to support and educate about health and caring for those in need - "Ronald McDonald House?"

"Ronald McDonald retiring will not be the answer to obesity!"

Should I push my child into sports?

It is important for you as a parent to remember that exposing children to new ideas, activities is about the child learning and exploring his or her own skills and interests and not the needs or wishes of the parent or what the parent wants for the child.
Encouragement try new things and understand commitment and responsibility when they join a group is important but it is also very important to talk with your child and truly understand your child's thoughts and feelings.  There is not one good answer regarding how to respond or  react to child not wanting to do something.  There are many factors to be considered and every child is unique.  Their thoughts and experiences are unique also.  (physical issues, emotional issues, social issues, maturity levels, unpleasant experiences, etc...) better yet is the process for resolving the issue at hand...this is what will determine your child's future receptiveness and responsiveness to new experiences and this is the real teaching opportunity.