Children in this snow!

As most parents agree safety is always first and if it isn't it should be! Next is learning. It is a parents job to teach children how to think and make safe decisions for themselves in every situation.

When working with so many parents, one of the first strategies I help parents master is the art of giving children information. Giving information promotes thinking.

Most parents give commands or make demands, instead of providing information. Giving commands and making demands teaches children to depend on parents for instruction or orders. Giving commands can teach children to be mentally stagnant.

Also demands and commands can be unpleasant, annoying, can negatively affect relationships, and alienate children because children do not like being told what to do just as adults do not like being told what to do.

In the extreme snow conditions, I have heard parents say things like:

"get out of the street" (command)
instead of "a car is coming" or "it is safer to walk close to the sidewalk."(info)

"we're going home" (command)
instead of "I'm cold" or "I'd like to go home"

Parents could also offer choices and be flexible with children. There are many positive approaches that parents can use to generate thought, respect, and cooperation. Parents can benefit from mastering these communication skills. If parents invest as much time learning and perfecting these skills as they do worrying, complaining, and yelling, parents would find the time to be well spent!

Children would feel more respected and would be left to think and make a decisions, not only now but for many situations in the future. Parents would be surprised to find how pleasant, smart, and cooperative children can be when the responsibility is given to them.

Happy parenting!