School Performance

Question:

I have a 13 year old boy who refuses to do good in school even though he is more than capable mind wise. This has been an on going problem since he started middle school any suggestions will help for I am at my wits end with him.
Thank You

Response:

Thank you for your question.  This is a common stressor for families. Unfortunately, every child has a different attitude or the way they think about education and school performance. Each child also has different capabilities and ways that they learn best.  This is why there is a wide range in performance among all students.  So many children are not great students. Some are mediocre and some excel just fine or are above average.

Naturally some of the attitude and efforts put forth by children are a result of their parents educational performance/ achievements and attitude ( learned behavior)  as well as genetics.

Whenever our children are not healthy in any way physical or psychological ( thinking , feelings, or behaving in their best interest ) it is always important to assess for medical reasons.  If your child is physically healthy then it is important to assess psychological reasons.  (thought processing through behavior...could help to talk with a professional) 


I would always recommend talking with your child about what is going on...not a lecture or making demands but a healthy, pleasant, positive, and genuinely concerned conversation.  Ask him to help you understand what he likes or doesn't like about school.  Why he thinks he either cannot or doesn't do as well as believed potentials would allow. There are many possibilities for why children do not work to their potential. ( I have developed an ABCs for academic success assessment which has proven to be helpful if interested)

Many students never learn how to study in ways that works for them.  This is one of the most common issues I have dealt with in students.   

Other reasons include poor organizational skills, dislike for teachers or subject matter, time management, poor self esteem, anxiety, personal or interpersonal problems, or classes too easy or hard (bored or discouraged). 

Regardless of the what is the cause for poor performance children must learn and understand the importance and correlation between education accomplishments and future success and happiness. Often times, good conversations can be very helpful as well as assistance with important skills mentioned earlier like organization.

Children should be motivated to perform well in school so that they will be educated and have future opportunities.  This is not always clear to children. Parents must help them and sometimes offer outside motivation, support, and guidance.

School is to children like work is to adults and unfortunately unless they really love their job sometimes it is really a grueling task to go and do well.  Hopefully parents can find the tools and develop the skills to help children get through K-12 at least ( usually college is easier for them ...different issues) and be motivated.

Please let me know if you have other specific questions or comments hopefully this has been some help.

Good Luck.