Choices...

All parents say to their children from time to time, "which do you choose?" Usually this question occurs when a parent is asking about a tangible item, like lunch or flavor for ice cream. Never the less, parents try to teach their children how to make choices.

However, when it comes to behavior this method is used less often. As discussed before parents usually try to tell children what to do and how to behave instead of encouraging and teaching them to think for themselves and make a good decision.

It is a parents job to teach their children to be critical thinkers. This means that when children are faced with choices which is constantly, they can learn to think about what is in their best interest. They should be considering how they would benefit and what choice would have the best outcome. Just like when they choose which lunch or flavor ice cream they can enjoy more.

Children understand more about how the world works than parents like to admit and children want to think for themselves. Parents want their children to be independent as soon as possible for the most part...(of course we love being needed and love our babies to stay our babies, but let's put that aside).

If parents can recognize that it is a positive loving way to teach children to make choices by allowing children to choose things...why aren't parents approaching children in the same loving way about behavior?

An example might be when a parent would like toys to be picked up, he or she could present it like a choice. "If you pick your toys up and put them away then you will know where they are to play with tomorrow or if you do not pick them up then you will not have them to play with tomorrow". Which do you want to do?

Let the child decide then follow through with the plan. If parents did this and were calm and consistent starting at an early age children would learn very quickly to make better choices.

If the child would choose not to pick up the toys, the parent calmly puts them away preferable when the child is napping or not around and put those away for the next day. ( if the child has too much stuff and doesn't care this is another parental issue that needs to be addressed as well, but there are simple solutions to this also)

If the child does care the parent just says sincerely "I am very sorry but you have lost the privilege to play with those toys for today". Done. Parents can choose to teach these valuable lessons in positive ways. Parents and children have choices always.

It is really all about choices!