Ignoring behavior

One of the easiest ways a parent can respond to inappropriate behavior is to ignore it. I say easy because I mean a parent basically has to do nothing physically. It is not easy emotionally to ignore behavior because parents must be making a conscious effort to just go about their business while the behavior is occurring (and inside they want to just scream). So self control is required. Sometimes tons of self control. However it is important for parents to remember "the behavior you attend to will be the behavior you promote." That is a very important statement to remember. Now there is one very important rule and that is that you can only ignore behavior when it is safe. Safety is always first. So when a parent is uncertain about what to ignore, they can just ask that question. Is this safe behavior ?? Naturally there will be behaviors that are just too annoying and a parent has rights too so they can choose to address the behavior but I assure you no matter how annoying if the parent can find a way to ignore it...it will stop much faster.
Some parents say "I feel terrible ignoring my child. " Of course you do you love your child and they are upset, but remember you are not ignoring the child you are ignoring the inappropriate behavior. I also recommend communicating with the child what you are doing. If your child is a whiner, just let them know you will speak or listen to them when they are able to talk properly. And say it only once or you defeating the purpose of ignoring. Sometimes this simple method requires a little training and definitely practice but I assure you it is one of the simplest, least stressful methods for modifying behavior. There are tons of books and people to help with this if needed. Just be sure to remember no matter what strategy is used it must be implemented in a positive manner to be truly positive and long term effective. So parents start ignoring it can be positively rewarding!